This is a clip of Randy Moller, the radio announcer for the Florida Panthers. It is a montage of him making "GOAL" calls during Panther hockey games. The reason its incredible is because after he makes the goal call, he just screams out a random line from some arbitrary movie. For example, "Stillman, out in front…..he shoots, HE SCORES!!!! MAKE ME A BICYCLE, CLOWN!!!" This guy is simply as original as it gets. Not to mention the fact that anyone who manages to fit quotes from "Wedding Crashers" into a hockey broadcast is an obvious hero. The best part about this clip though, is the fact that it makes me begin to picture announcers in other sports exclaiming movie lines after some meaningful event in the game. Can you even begin to fathom what Madden would scream out after a Favre touchdown pass? Or what the McCarver/Buck combo would exclaim after a World Series homerun? How about an utterly hammered Harry Caray calling an Andre Dawson homerun back in '87 and following it up with a line from Caddyshack...(drunken slurring, spit flying flow the mouth after each hard-to-pronounce syllable, the stinging stench of a 16 oz. ice-cold Budweiser permeating throughout the press box) "Doc Gooden, into the wind-up and the pitch...and it's a high-fly ball, deep to left field, Kevin McReynolds is going back...he's at the warning track...at the ivy...he jumps...HOLY COW!!!! Home-run to left by Dawson! SPALDING GET YOUR FOOT OFF THE BOAT!!!". Priceless, especially imagining Steve Stone with his eyes closed and his head in his hands, shamefully rocking it from side to side in disgust.

We all remember how great the original Budweiser "Wazzzzup" commercial was. All joking aside, it could go down in history as one of the greatest brand marketing campaigns of all time (although the Budweiser frogs are up there too). Unfortunately, this Madison Avenue gem had a dark side as well; because for at least 12-18 months after it came out, every single person thought it was the coolest and most original thing in the world to greet a group of friends with an ear-curling "WAZZZZZUP!!" (Only to be topped 5 years later by another great line turned bad, the instantly iconic "I'm Rick James bitch" from Chapelle's show. Nothing is worse than a 21-year old collar-popped ex high-school lacrosse backup goalie from the suburbs, crying out this fabled line as he's stumbling out of the bathroom in a bar after his 7th bottle of Zima...anyone between the age of 24-29 knows exactly what I am talking about) The preppy white-guy version of said commercial is positively tremendous. The facial expressions of the guys from the original commercial at the end are great. Although I think I have a certain bias towards this video because I know a guy who, when asked what he was doing, responded by saying "just watching the market recap, drinking an import." And no, it was not me...it was definitely me.

Okay, this is actually not safe for work if you are worried about curse words in closed captioning; but the images and sound are just fine. Trust me, I know that a lot of these videos are out there with this scene from "The Downfall;" (or Der Untergang for all you Germaniacs out there) but there is just something about this clip that screams hilarity. I guess it's my bias being from Chicago and being a fan who attends real baseball games down on the Southside, but watching a toothbrush-mustachioed Fuhrer react with anger to a random Socialist henchman ranting about a Cubs right fielder is pure comedic gold. "Fukudome sucks. Every time he swings at the ball….it looks like he's going to screw himself into the ground." The fact that this part of the video then leads to Hitler mumbling "Will everyone who wants the Cubs to sign Adam Dunn….please leave the room" is humorous buffoonery at its finest.

Some people don't find this video funny. Those people are idiots. I am absolutely enamored with the concept of this video. The fact that a group of guys actually tape their games of pickup basketball at the gym is ridiculous in and of itself; but to have a camera following the worst player on the court at all times just so you can make a video montage highlighting how god awful he is, might have to be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. Not only does the video have a heart-felt opening from the egregious hoopster himself, but the clips are actually spaced out into different parts of his game. Shooting, Rebounding, Defense, Passing, Sportsmanship, and Hilarity are the categories that make up this magnum opus of online basketball footage.

Random Thoughts for the Week:

• I hate Drew Barrymore. She could be the most overrated actress in Hollywood. Someone tell her to get some minutes in at the closest tanning salon when she has a chance. 
• Charlie's Angels is the epitome of a great/terrible movie. The acting is awful (with the exception of Bill Murray of course), the two bad guys are a computer nerd and the guy who played Wadsworth in Clue, and you could easily predict what was going to happen 15 minutes before it actually occurred in the film. And yet anytime it's on TV, I can't turn it off. For some inexplicable reason, if I am surfing through the channels and see it's on, I immediately being watching. This truly is a phenomenon that cannot be explained. See also: Bring It On: All or Nothing, The Skulls, Grease 2, and Undercover Brother.
• Speaking of Charlie's Angels, I was perusing the Facebook "pictures" section of a couple female friends of mine the other day; and happened to come across a group of girls striking the famous Charlie's Angel's "look at me holding a fake gun but it's actually my index fingers" pose. Really? Even at 26, I still have to put up girls doing this and making complete assholes of themselves? I thought this trend would end after high school; but alas, stupidity has triumphed again.
• "Obama signs stimulus package, Dow drops 300 points." Weird. Karl Marx would be so proud of us right now.
• Did anyone else hear that Alex Rodriguez did steroids? Oh, all of you have? Sorry, I forgot it's been the leading news story on every media outlet for what seems like the past month. I am sick and tired of all the steroid talk. In case everyone forgot, Jose Canseco published his book "Juiced" back in '05 and called A-Rod out. At the time, everyone said Canseco was a liar. As of right now, almost every single major MLB star that has been called out for steroids was mentioned in Canseco's book. I think it's about time to admit what we have never wanted to...that Jose Canseco is the only one who has NOT lied about who did and didn't do steroids.

If anyone has other examples of great/terrible movies they can't turn off when they come on TV, I would love to hear about them. Also, I am always in the mood to get more absurd clips from the internet; so send me the best ones you got and we'll see if they can't get in the premier edition of "What's in the Fannypack?"

Blue Horseshoe loves Anacot Steel.

-Randy

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